Virtual Offerings
On the Motorway of Life
On the motorway of life
I shall rest my weary wheels
At your service station
I shall drink
From the waters
Of your automatic Coke dispenser
And take nourishment
From your plastic, greasy
Artificially sweetened, mass produced
Over-processed, chemically enhanced
Additive-enriched, portion-controlled
Nutrition-free apology for food
Groaning in agony
I shall join the queue
For your stomach pump
Catering by Trust House Forte
Salmonella from corporate sources
THF means instant death
Death by unnatural causes
On the motorway of life
I shall stop to smell the roses
And bring my own sandwiches.
No Parachute Supplied
From the disco bars of Bangkok
To the disUnited States
On the streets of Kings Cross
The sacrament awaits
In pubs and clubs in old Soho
Take a ghost train ride
To needle park a go-go
The seductive suicide
Smuggled in through the front door
Smuggled in through the back
Banks and finance houses
Become high street laundromats
The alchemist’s white powder
Always takes first prize
In the race for self-deception
The daily suicide
Conjuring up the dragon
Hunters to the chase
Desperate for admission
Through the Pearly Gates
Aspiring to oblivion
Expiring from inside
Like Icarus before them
No parachute supplied
A chemical solution
Salvation by syringe
Behind life’s lonely prison door
Death eternal springs
Nailed up on the steely cross
With needles crucified
Rushing headlong to embrace
The final suicide.
The author writes a seduction manual in the Job Centre
Hey baby, I’m an astrologer
I watch the stars and signs
I foresee a good position
The horizontal kind
Hey baby, I’m a palmist
With devious designs
Let me hold your hands
I’ll read between the lines
Hey baby, I’m a doctor
Curing all your ills
Prescribing a dose of debauchery
And contraceptive pills
Hey baby, I’m a conjuror
Magic’s my career
You give me your virginity
I’ll make it disappear
Hey baby, I’m a preacher
Your body I’ll consecrate
Confession time is 8 till 9
Sinning’s 9 till 8
Hey baby, I’m a poet
Courting your applause
Unzipping the jeans of your fantasies
With my metaphors
Hey baby, I’m an accountant
At figures I excel
Like 38-24-36
And 69 as well
Hey baby, I’m a mechanic
I’ll make your engine feel alright
I suggest a fuel injection
With high octane dynamite
Hey baby, I’m an astronomer
You’re a super constellation
Show me your heavenly body
I’ll show my appreciation.