Alexandra Ekkelenkamp

Integration: Youth (1984-1987)
(for Stoneking)

The wings of this symbol,
bronze Eagle of the Republik,
are the seal
of a childhood lost,
spent in khaki, singing
“Indonesia Raya” –
not with gamelan, but Western trumpet…
Children learn this:
sing not Nina Bobo – that is for mothers –,
sing national anthem
let no kite fly through dessa-sky,
reach heights in Army
love no more, control lust,
ideal families have two children:
1 boy
1 girl
after one, maybe two
years, children
will know no more,
will dress march sing think
write in unison –
will be ignorant…

Is it then a sin that I,
white flower on foreign Island
should think and write and
know
of these things?

He says “you’re too young
to write this – go write Joy, Youth, Ignorance”
–      I cannot.

For the wings of this symbol,
bronze Eagle of Maturity,
sealed off my childhood,
spent in summer dresses
with babu and mommy,
gamelan and Western trumpet…
I learned this:
be not ignorant,
guard Feeling,
think freely,
do not be mislead,
Know of Life,
know
of Bronze Eagles
and the ideals behind them.

“no man lived more profoundly enamoured of music and poetry”

deep down in the night
it must be Dusty Morning again
no more party rumours
the dancing has gone.
on the floor a
curled pink serpentine
broken glass
champagne on tiles
air lifts through the apartment
carrying scents
that remind of women
muses trading
lectures for sex
water running out of chrome taps
unshaven face in mirror
cracks where his smile should have been
no hesitating
no morning piano this time

no hangover greater than this
loss of love, and muses lost


title is quote from The Domain of Arnheim, E.A. Poe

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